TinaCortina's Blog

Musings of a Tgirl

Letter from Britannia


I’ve been meaning to blog for a while now ~ I mean even my wife has been nagging me to blog!

That I haven’t has been a dull mixture of stress from work, either being busy or by contrast worry about lack of work, a time when I seemed to pick up a bug that didn’t quite stop me but did lay me low for quite a while and general aches and pains and perhaps a feeling of getting old!! All of which seems to sap the creative juices such as I have any and also, from a tg point of view, introduces negativity into getting out there and doing something ~ anything.

Ok so in the last month, I went again to a Surrey Swans event, that’s the monthly social evening, in the back of a pub about 20 minutes away. They have a decent bar in there and as usual a good mix of about 25 girls arrived………and this time as a little difference it was an Ann Summers party. It was quite a jolly affair but I don’t think many of us were into the games and I can’t help thinking they didn’t sell that much.

Actually I chatted to the organiser afterwards. She’s been doing it for about 10 years so must have seen all sorts in that time. Anyway, she said it was OK, ‘after all’ she said, ‘I wouldn’t be doing anything else on a Sunday evening’.

……….and funnily enough that summed up my feelings!!

I hadn’t really felt like going. I was aching after morning golf (usual back problems, blah, blah blah) and at one point had thought that spending an hour putting make-up on and getting this guy to TRY to look less like a guy in a dress and then making conversation at an Ann Summers party was just a little pointless.

I mean when you are tired and knackered, you just don’t feel very feminine do you? It applies to me, it must apply to other tg’s, christ it must apply to all women (as in gg’s!!)

They want to feel feminine (unless they want to feel masculine, haha!). They want to feel soft and smell nice and dress nice and be hugged and loved by their partner. If they are not feeling well they don’t feel feminine. Simple as. So why should I be any different?

I had started to wonder. Am I growing out of it all? this wanting to dress up and ‘pretend’ to be a women…. or am I just getting lazy in my old age?

That Sunday night, if I’d stayed at home, I’d probably have got myself horizontal on the bed and watched telly and likely as not drifted off to sleep by 10pm. At least I got out and had a bit of fun, met some new people………Funnily enough it was my wife that pushed me into going. I had told her I might……. and once she has accepted that I’m likely to go and she is OK about it.. she hates me changing my mind.

What else have we done?

Well we went on the Roses Thames Boat Cruise along with 160 other ‘girls’. One of those 2 level boat cruisers, a bar and a disco floor and a decent amount of space outside for you to admire the sights as you pass Big Ben or the Millennium Dome trying to make the most of every photo opportunity. We started at Blackfriars Pier , gone upstream to just beyond Battersea then back up close to the Thames barrier then back to Blackfriars. We must have been going pretty slow as we were on the boat for the best part of 5 hours.

I always think it’s great fun to wave to all the other boats, for them to wave at us and think (if they could see everyone), my god, they are all women, wahay, a whole boatload of women lets wave back, haha!!

Earlier, we’d been with our friends Astrid and Sandra, Davina and Jackie into China Town for a quick bite before the Boat Trip. Its sooooo busy on a Saturday night! But in China Town the restaurants are used to fast trade, quick turnaround. It was just as well we were in a hurry.

But on the way out, I lead the way, my wife follows. As she passes one table, she hears one guy say to his wife OMG, did you see that?’ or something similar. Cool as a cucumber my wife leans over and says to them both ‘don’t worry if you missed it, there’s two more to follow!!’ Actually she even got him to look a bit embarrassed, but no worries from my side, if you couldn’t put up with that sort of thing, you wouldn’t do it.

Actually, I like to think (emphasis on the like) that I was only ‘spotted’ because I was wearing my new wig which is far too white blonde (see pic above) and lets face it blondes do stand out from the crowd.

Lol. But I won’t be wearing it out to the local supermarket!

Now what else can I write about?

Well what about the demise of the TG newsgroups in general, and Cassie’s group ( as in Cassandra Taylor) in particular? I’ve been a member of South Coast Crossdressing and Cassie’s group for 5 or 6 years, made a lot friends through them, been to their Christmas meals or once one of their members Sam, even organised our own Boat Trip.

Well it was a great group and while SCCD is still going, it is typical of the fact that few of these groups have any great depth or contributors these days. Very sad really.

Cassie, many thanks for your Newsgroup these past 5 years. You put a huge amount of effort into it and fair to say, it helped change my life.

Over the years I’ve joined plenty, UK angels is still going just, and I am pleased that these groups exist, because there are still new girls ‘coming out’ and needing help, but so many have fallen by the wayside.

Personally, I’ve found the groups on the social networking sites like Facebook or MySpace or even Flikr, so shallow by comparison. Yes we have the forums at UkAngels or Roses and some might like to chat at places like TvChix but are we saying we don’t need supportive newsgroups anymore, places to make friends, maybe organise social events and most importantly trying to present TG issues in a positive manner??

Well by contrast, here is a total exception, but unfortunately it is in California. I can’t help marvelling at how wonderful the River City Gems are. I became a member of their group a few months ago, rather on the back of having Marla and Rachel as Yahoo360 friends. Take a look at their main website, they really know how to party

http://www.rivercitygems.org/news.html

Its been going less than a year. They already have socials where they get 50 girls. On their message boards they can get fifty messages a day. They have experienced tgirls, they have new ones just coming out and wondering if they are entirely on their own. They have young ones they have old ones, they have lots of supportive partners and queen of them all is Marla. She has so much positive energy.

They have several events a month. They have make-over workshops, shopping trips, wig events, 2nd hand clothes swaps. They do sparkle events, pride events; they meet up with other groups in the area. They offer love and support to just about anyone that needs it within the transgender community.

I am just so impressed; they are just so so so positive and going from strength to strength. Do we have anything with even half their energy?

Probably not…but I will choose not to be negative about it. I am now in a much better mood than when I started this blog, so I’m going to put on a skirt and go and do the lawns. Well maybe not exactly, maybe just half of that!

But first, and granted somewhat off-topic, and decidedly 4 or 5 years late, I ’d like to say fond farewell and my own little tribute to Alistair Cook, born in Britain but naturalised American, most famous in this country for his ‘Letters From America’ radio broadcasts that he continued with right up to the time of his death.

I’m reminded of him now, because I feel his radio broadcasts were a little like my blogs.

Sorry I better re-phrase that.

What I mean is, I feel that he kind of invented the blog in his musing style of broadcasting and I try to emulate that.

Television has shown a few times recently programmes about him or his Letter from America. I loved his voice; I loved his reporting, his whimsy and his wit. I especially liked the fact that he would tell a circular story, starting about his chosen subject, diverting here and there often seemingly going off topic (I call it rambling!), adding his very personal thoughts as he went along and within the half hour he rounded it off, coming nicely back to the introductory subject and bringing everything to a nice conclusion.

Now that is what I aspire to in a blog (except it takes me a lot longer to write!). A beginning, my few different topics, maybe the odd ironic story, all brought together and rounded off in the conclusion.

That I’m not an Alistair Cook, that I can’t really write doesn’t matter, as if it pleases me, that is sufficient.

Well I started off feeling rather melancholic and wondering about the meaning of life, especially my tg life. I’m feeling rather better now.

If you have been, thanks for listening.

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September 27, 2008 Posted by | musings of a tgirl | , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments