TinaCortina's Blog

Musings of a Tgirl

To Tell or Not to Tell?

A friend reading the last blog entry asked why I didn’t tell my daughter and have done with it ~ it got me thinking that I ought to attempt to do more than just relay a few outings, so let me get a little contemplative.

The point is ~ it’s a choice I’ve never felt I have had to make. My wife doesn’t want the kids to know, so therefore given and wanting her support, I’d be a fool to go against that, especially as there will come a time in the not too distant future when my youngest will have flown the roost to Uni. The other two are already departed.

As I’ve said in the past my wife Ann-Maria is very supportive, both in respect of occasional nights in, when the coast is clear, or going out to tg events ~ especially if other partners are involved eg next week we are off to the Big Night Out (at Pink Punters, in Milton Keynes).

Just as importantly, to me at least, we both recognise Tina is an important part of our lives and no related issues are off-topic. In fact we have a lot of fun chatting about the scene on an almost daily basis and often chat on messenger before I’ve left the office in Tina mode. Sorry I mean I’m signed-in in Tina mode not dressed at the office!!

Yesterday, I had a day off and made a day of it going out shopping in Folkestone. Its a 2+ hour drive but I enjoy the mix of driving enfemme with having to stop at petrol stations, stopping off at several places for shopping and visiting of friends. It gave me a chance to buy some Tina presents for Ann-Maria ~ swopping girly presents privately late on Christmas Eve has become very important to us and I always try to buy my Tina presents when dressed as Tina. I also had the chance to visit my friend (real lady) Barbara for a couple of hours in the afternoon.

Anyway, I wanted to leave the house dressed so had to slip out about 8:00 am. I knew my daughter did not need to get up to leave for college till late and anyway if she is up and about she makes a noise, so there really was no danger in creeping past her door. Fortunately she was out when I returned or I would have been forced to change back, which is not nice at the best of times but especially so in a car in the dark.

I was a little late back ~ I’d wanted to slip into a pub for a glass of wine, extending the day’s experiences; shopping, finding a coffee shop having a drink in a pub is all part of being out there. I don’t interface with the public a great deal but just enjoy being out and about. To my mind there is no way that I ‘pass’ but I find the public embrace you if you make an effort and all day long I had had only positive experiences.

Anyway, being a little late back led to an argument about the risks I take in being ‘found out’.

It about me leaving the house while dressed. A-M hates the idea of me getting caught, the kids knowing etc. I respect that and I think I am pretty careful all round, but not obsessionally so.

Leaving the house dressed in a quiet road with neighbours well set back and rarely there means its not a big issue to drive off. I do have personalised number plates, so perhaps someone might see me, but do I really care about that? If someone unknown, see me driving a car, I hope they would think it a woman! If they know me, well unless they bring it up with me, I would be none the wiser.

I’ve not told any friends, primarily because I don’t see I’ve anything to gain. My men friends are generally things I want to do guy things with. Mates that I play sport with or enjoy a beer. I am not TS and have no thoughts about making dressing anything more than an enjoyable ‘hobby’ for want of a better word. We rarely do the girly thing of discussing relationships and I think telling them would ‘for no reason’ would at best make things uncomfortable.

On the other hand, if someone saw me and where I live I don’t think it is a big chance, then I feel I would deal with it. I wouldn’t think it a big issue. I would have to explain myself and they would either accept me for it or not. So be it, c’est la vie, fate.

I am a little that way inclined with the kids. In a way, I am surprised that my daughter does not already know or suspect. Ok, we have separate accounts on the PC but she might easily have had access on occasion or seen ‘fuuny’ photos or links. She may not be nosey, but if she has ever looked in various drawers in our bedroom….and what about the extra double wardrobe in the spare room that is supposed to be full of A-M’s old clothes that she never wears or throws away.

In support of my wife, I try not to give anything away. But I would not see it as the end of the world if my daughter did find out. She is 17 yrs old and I am who I am.

Equally, I do see my wife’s point of view.

She thinks if they find out they then have issues. Would she tell her boyfriend, would she tell our other kids, would it spread around the whole of the family? Would it create problems for them? Would it affect ‘the relationship’ with Dad?’

But then I think, my darling Ann-Maria ~ you only think I’m a little bit weird and you have dealt with it. I expect even in loving me they already suspect I’m weird enough in plenty of ways and they are basically all adults now.

Hohum, it makes you think doesn’t it? Any comments are more than welcome!!!!

December 1, 2006 Posted by | musings of a tgirl | , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments