TinaCortina's Blog

Musings of a Tgirl

Public or Private?

I doubt anyone will notice it, but I dropped the Facebook link in my last blog.  I have been wrestling with the idea of taking my blog private, such as one can, even changing the url which you can do in WordPress which might make it harder to find.

I guess these thoughts appeared around the time I found out that my girls knew about Tina.  I quickly dismissed them then as if the girls had wanted to, they might have been reading every blog since the start ~ though I do rather doubt that.  It’s not that I am in any way ashamed of what I write (or who I am) but I do sometimes wonder whether the content of the blog is changed by my awareness of who is reading it.

Of course when you start, the blog is very personal, expressing innermost thoughts like a diary and indeed although I’ve never posted very often, I am pleased that I have kept my blog up for almost 5 years as a record of my thoughts, trips and outings over that period.  Something to look back on perhaps when I am old and decrepit, if I’m not already.  But once you seek an audience and that happened very early on with the use of tags and ‘friends’ in Yahoo360, then a part of you is wanting to interact with others.  WordPress has taken that a stage further, by introducing stats, by giving us the means to publicise on f/b and the rest and of course your every blog can be found on a google search,  you only need a name.  Up to now I have sought ‘publicity’ by linking to Flickr, Flickriver, by including my blog url on all email correspondence and more recently on most comments I make on other people’s blogs.

So is this what I want?  How would I feel if no-one ever came and it was purely for myself?

Do I crave the surges in readership that appear when I post a blog.    How would I feel if I was ever featured on ‘Freshly Pressed’ (some hope!).  Is it numbers I want?  Numbers mean nothing anyway as many will just find you by accident, reach your home page and leave within seconds.  Oh and as an aside, if you want numbers just include a celebrity name in your blog and see the numbers increase.  I mentioned Will Y the pop singer in my last blog and even though I didn’t tag his name about a quarter of referrals the next day came from a Will Y forum.

Is it quality of readership I want?   I have a few that are subscribed to this blog (and you know who you are!) but even then the only feedback I get as to whether anyone has read one of my blogs, especially to the end (and I do realise I go on somewhat)  are the comments if any, and then the quality of comments, especially those that make several references to different parts of the blog content.

To the loyal few thank you.  I am not bemoaning lack of readers or quality of readers, but questioning the way in which I should publicise my blog if at all.

How do I feel about having people I know read my blog?

I find that quite difficult.  In the past I would often go to an event, swop photos via email and then say if you want to, feel free to follow the link and read my blog.  Not many did, or at least not many have done and ever posted a comment or ever mentioned it.  Most just don’t want to be that introspective about such things.  There aren’t many that write blogs and (on a relative scale) there aren’t many that want to read blogs.  Most are already planning the next event and often attention spans don’t go beyond looking at a few photos, the odd comment on Facebook and of course I do recognise that everyone is different.  Nothing wrong with that.

Some of the photos on Flickr point to this blog.  So if I put up new photos, then some might follow it.  And similarly, over the last 6 months a WordPress feature allows my Facebook friends to see a preview,  with a link to any new blogs.

But I do wonder.  My last blog was quite personal in a way.  It mentioned specific people. And I guess in passing, I pass comments on them.  As it happens nothing especially detrimental, but is that the point?

I have around 100 ‘friends’ on Facebook, maybe I know (ie have met) 30-40.  The percentage is probably lower on Flickr where I do quite often accept transatlantic friends or anyone that has ‘nice pics’ and is prepared occasionally to pass comment.

I don’t worry about the people I don’t know reading my blog.  I do sometimes think about those I do know that might read my blog.

 

Not that I mind them reading, but I am concerned as to whether it affects what I write.  Will I shy away from revealing personal self-analysis?  Will I temper my comments for people who know me?   They say a diary should be private so that you can say exactly what you want.  Does this apply to a blog?  Have I already changed what I might write, knowing some of the people who might read it.  To be honest, I don’t know………possibly yes to a limited extent.  But I am worried it might take over anything I write.

So to finish, and just for the hell of it ~ I haven’t used these poll thingy’s in an age.  So for anyone that has got this far, please vote………..as as always feel free to pass comment.  You are most welcome!

Should a blog such as this be written ……?

Hugs
Tina xx

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March 5, 2011 - Posted by | musings of a tgirl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

28 Comments »

  1. Hi Miss Tina

    I have been writing a blog using blogger for just under a year. At first I wanted the followers, the comments and everything else that shows popularity and acceptance.
    Then, I realized. Simply from all the anrgry bloggers out there that have nothing better to do than to attack others. I started a completely new and fresh one on wordpress.
    Being popular is not what I had wanted after all. I just wanted to write. And I like writing on the internet using pictures and other resources to accentuate a post, if I choose.
    And as for whom sees my blog? I will never know. Making it easier for me to live my life in comfort without the concern or opinions of others. Right or wrong.
    I’m sure you will make your own decision based on what you truely want when you find it. Just be happy in yourself and live the way you choose fit.

    Comment by LeAnne | March 5, 2011 | Reply

    • Hi LeaAnne

      Thanks you for your thoughtful comments. I think when I came to WordPress I was not chasing traffic, after all there are bigger blogging platfroms but like you, I like to write and I’ve been happy here… You are right, we don’t know who sees the blog unless they comment…. and because I mainly write for myself, I will choose what is right for me …as and when I realise what that is, lol! Hugs Tina x

      Comment by TinaCortina | March 5, 2011 | Reply

  2. I think I agree with LeAnne. I did write my own comment but it disappeared when I accidently hit a wrong button and I didn’t want to write it all over again! Essentially Tina, you have to ask yourself the reasons for blogging in the first instance. You then have to determine who will be the readership and finally you decide the content. If none of these things is important then just write your posts as you see fit and don’t worry what others will say. After all you can delete authors and comments. Just have fun. Love

    Shirley Anne xxx

    Comment by Shirley Anne | March 5, 2011 | Reply

    • Oh Shirley, now I will never know what you meant to write! Damn! But I have done that myself, though I do seem to do it less often these days.

      I don’t think I’ve yet deleted a comment but I have stopped the odd one appearing. I do like the level of control one has here.

      At this moment I have 3 comments and 4 votes. The hard part now will be to decide who has voted which way!!

      Hugs Tina x

      Comment by TinaCortina | March 5, 2011 | Reply

  3. Tina, although I don’t comment very often, I really enjoy your blog. Your blog should always be whatever you want it to be, but if you took it private, I would miss it. Thanks so much for your posts.

    Comment by Linda Marie Daniels | March 5, 2011 | Reply

    • Hello Linda

      Well I certainly didn’t know you came here, so I am very pleased you announced yourself. Thanks for your kinds words, I appreciate you took the time to make them.

      Hugs Tina x

      Comment by TinaCortina | March 5, 2011 | Reply

  4. I enjoy being Trish for many reasons, but one of the biggest reasons is that I can finally be open and honest about what I feel, what I like and what I want to do. However, if I knew my daughters were reading what I wrote, that would bother me. Not that I am ashamed of anything, I am a nice person just trying to enjoy the life I was given, but I would not want to burden them with things that even I do not understand.
    The reason I write and read on the internet is to share what I have learned and see what other t-gals have gone through. It helps to let others know that they are not alone.
    Trish DuBois

    Comment by trish dubois | March 5, 2011 | Reply

    • Hi Trish, Thanks for popping by. I mentioned my girls in passing but I am almost certain they are not reading my blogs. If they are, I hope they would come and discuss their feelings with me. Whereas if they are not, I accept their right to keep it to themselves if they don’t want to ‘face’ the issue.

      I was thinking more of the tgirls I have met but expanding that thought to anyone I know. Yes, I certainly like to think I am sharing, helping others where I can and doing my bit to spread the word. Hugs Tina x

      Comment by TinaCortina | March 5, 2011 | Reply

  5. It is true to a point about how we write. I have noticed that when I first started back on yahoo 360 my posts were just for me and written that way. As more people started reading them they have changed to more of me telling a story and writing in a way to try to keep them interested so they would read to the end. Even my titles of the blog have changed from just the day and date to a little about the blog.

    You can also change your privacy setting (on dashboard) to block search engines from your site (so google and others will not rate your blog) and also set it to only people who you want to read it can see it. One of the cool things about WordPress. I think you can also do this individually on each blog post.
    It does make you wonder who the people are and why they are reading one’s blog. Did they get here by mistake and just as fast leave or did they read your post and was it what they were looking for. The stat numbers do not tell you that.

    I guess I would say don’t delete it just set it to private for a while and give yourself some time, that way if in the future you decide you want your blog back it is still there. Best of luck.

    One thing is I think your blog and others like ours help reach others like us who may not go out and feel they are all alone. I dressed for years thinking I was the only one until I started to really look on the internet and found there are many others like me.

    I love the fact people read and even comment but the when someone comments or e-mails me saying something I wrote helped them in even a small way I know it is worth being public. We have had several t-girls join our group here in Portland who read about it on my blog and are now going out with the group, what a great feeling.

    PS I would miss reading your blog.
    Hugs
    Susan

    Comment by susanmiller64 | March 5, 2011 | Reply

    • Hi Susan
      Thanks for the dashboard privacy tips; I will take a look. I think it is great that we can help and learn from each other.

      I don’t know whether I will put it on private; I may just leave it off the facebook update for a while.

      I would miss reading your blog too, so keep it up.

      Hugs Tina x

      Comment by TinaCortina | March 5, 2011 | Reply

  6. Hi Tina,

    I came onto the net to find myself, and lots of people have re-established my self-esteem. Angels girls got me there, and then I discovered blogs; That looks fun I thought. Blogging gave me a network of friends, that has carried on with my education into all sorts of feminine things, and continues to shore up my self esteem.

    In my case only two people know me as Bob, You and Noeleena, but all my contacts are precious to me. I’d so love to progress to things like Fabulis, etc. Just dreams for now.

    You’ve asked loads of questions in this blog, and whether or not you find answers, I hope you keep blogging, as I would miss you and your humour and help and friendship so much.

    Hugs Anna xx

    Comment by Anna Arendt | March 5, 2011 | Reply

    • Hi Anna
      You know me, I shall have to keep blogging. It was only a question as to whether I might limit those who read it, but you would always be on the list!
      Hugs, Tina x

      Comment by TinaCortina | March 8, 2011 | Reply

  7. Tina – yours is one of several blogs which I try never to miss. Hope you can keep on sharing for a long while yet. I enjoyed your account of visiting Barbara at Folkestone- it is a joy to have at least one gg friend.
    Best wishes

    Vivien

    Comment by Vivien | March 6, 2011 | Reply

    • Hi Vivien
      It’s great to pose a question like this and realise I have readers I didn’t know about. Thanks for posting now and I’m glad you enjoyed reading about Folkestone.
      Hugs, Tina x

      Comment by TinaCortina | March 8, 2011 | Reply

  8. If you’d asked me as recently as last November why I write my blog, I’d have said it was primarily a record for myself of my journey towards femininity – Something to look back on perhaps when I am old and decrepit as you so beautifully put it!

    But now that things are getting serious and I’m seeking professional help, I have come to value my virtual friends. I only have about 5-10 readers every day, which is less than when I used Blogger, but I don’t care. Getting nice comments is always pleasing, but what has become important is the small group of us who frequently comment on each other’s blogs – so much so that girls such as you, Tina, cease to be just ‘ordinary’ virtual friends and become special. And just occasionally the virtual cloak falls aways, we meet in the flesh and become real friends that would never have met, but for blogging.

    Comment by Angela Davis | March 6, 2011 | Reply

    • Hi Angela
      Yours was one of the first blogs I found and I have always enjoyed reading it (+ your other one, when I remember!). I agree it is nice to feel that you are getting support from ‘out there’. Although one writes for oneself it is nice to be appreciated abd given some encouragement.
      Hugs Tina x

      Comment by TinaCortina | March 8, 2011 | Reply

  9. Hello Tina,

    Easy question and I answered the way most seem to be voting. The main difference between our two blogs is that mine is anonymous. In theory, your problems here should not occur to me, but as I already told you, my son found the blog through entirely indirect means. SO now, perhaps I should seriously consider the same course of action…

    Paws for thought! 😉

    P x

    Comment by dimorphism | March 6, 2011 | Reply

    • Hi P

      Thanks for dropping by. I now have 13 comments and 12 votes so not quite sure how all have voted but the majority is certainly virtual + people I know (7 out of 12).

      Technically you are the only one I know that has commented.

      It was never my intention to exclude those I don’t know, ie the ‘virtual friends’ but at the same time that is not always easy if you don’t know who they are. The subscription list on WordPress would have helped of course.

      And not that I ever wanted to exclude you. But there is the potential for me to change what I write for a known audience and I think in the short term I will continue as I am now. I still have links from flickr, but I have removed the direct link from f/b.
      Hugs Tina x

      Comment by TinaCortina | March 8, 2011 | Reply

  10. Hi Tina, I don’t care who you decide to ‘allow into your blog world’ but, I do and will read them, so please keep me on your contact list! 🙂 I would imagine having close family access to your blog will affect what you write, because it will make you very self concious about what you convey so that you don’t upset your family in any way. But, keep blogging! xx

    Comment by Karry | March 6, 2011 | Reply

    • Hi Karry
      Thanks for stopping by and you are most welcome to read and comment and I think whatever happens the contacts I have built up will always be able to read my blog if they want to. And yes, I agree about your comments on family, though I think this could apply to others that I know also, if you know what I mean. Anyway, I think I am sorted in my mind in ths hort term

      Hugs Tina x

      Comment by TinaCortina | March 8, 2011 | Reply

  11. Hi Tina,
    I only signed up to your Blog a little while ago. It’s the first one I’ve signed onto and I found it though a link on the Angels flickr site.
    As someone who is still very new to this I am at the stage where I find reading other people’s thoughts and experiences very helpful to me so I would miss your updates if you went completely private. I do enjoy reading them (I have read a lot of the older posts as well).
    If I hadn’t followed the link to your Blog I wouldn’t have been aware of Fabuliss which I am now considering as a good venue to make my first public appearance, just need to see how that works out.
    Having said that I don’t Blog myself and I’m not on facebook so I guess it’s difficult for me to advise. At the end of the day I think you have to be happy with yourself and the level of information that you share with others.
    Does that help, hinder or confuse? I’m not sure.
    Whatever you decide I wish you all best.
    Emily S.

    Comment by Emily S | March 7, 2011 | Reply

    • Hi Emily
      Like with others who have commented, I didn’t know you came to read, so I am glad to have found out… and if any of my posts have been useful so much the better. As you know I am a regular at Fabuliss so if you ever do go, it would be good to say hello…….. but then I would have to bar you from my blog!!! Only kidding, lol.

      Hugs Tina x

      Comment by TinaCortina | March 8, 2011 | Reply

  12. Hi Tina
    WOW. As I’m reading this post, I’m thinking “OMG, this is happening to me right now”.
    I am quite new to blogging and have just come across yours. I read a couple of your latest posts then jumped to this one as the title caught my attention.
    Despite being a crossdresser for over 40 years and hitting the mid-century mark last fall, I am only now expanding my knowledge on this “hobby” or ours. Started with yahoo360, a couple of pics, then over to flickr, then more recently a blog on wordpress. You are so right about the numbers game. I have found myself wondering how to get more hits..(and have done what you did, add a link to WP on all comments made where ever), but is that really what my blog was for? No, I started it for myself, somewhere to get my feelings and stories written and maybe more understanding of myself by reading others blogs. I am thinking though, that I should limit the number of blogs I follow. I don’t want to get tied down, spending hours reading many posts, snowed under by all the info that is now out there.
    I have managed so far in my life without any of this, but after reading your post, I am now (re)thinking of where I want to take this. Don’t get me wrong, you haven’t turned me off blogging, just on how I use it.
    Yours will be one of only a hand -full of blogs I now intend on following.
    Thank you, I have learned something about myself.
    Michelle
    (in the past I would have put my link here…lol, but anybody is welcome to drop by themichelleinme :))

    Comment by michelledeere140 | August 24, 2012 | Reply

    • Hi Michelle, Thanks for your comment. Since it is a while since I wrote anything new I haven’t been getting too many recently but I will enjoy the opportunity to pop across to yours even if you didn’t leave a link!! I have been through a dry spell, partially because I haven’t been dressing much, more because of what I put above (which I have just re-read, actually it was quite thought provoking for me!) in respect of people I know reading what I write. My wife was, is, has been reading what I write and there are times when I want to write something private.

      I don’t think you can really block anyone in this sort of blog as it appears in any search of my name, so it is difficult having been ‘public’ to go backwards. There have been other issues this year that have limited my writing so I may get the urge again who knows.

      Another person that came from yahoo360…….. if you go back far enough you will see that I transferred my old blogs here. I thought it was great and WP has been closest to capturing the fell of the oldY360 community.

      Anyway, I will pop into your blog and hope that we become more than a one-off contact point via this comment,

      Hugs Tina x

      Comment by TinaCortina | August 24, 2012 | Reply

      • Glad you were able to find my blog Tina..hehe.
        As I said, I am really glad I came across this post. If you don’t mind, I would like to referance it in one of my posts in the next few weeks…?
        M.

        Comment by michelledeere140 | August 25, 2012

      • Of course, no worries… and I will add your blog onto my blogroll…feel free to add mine, only if you wish Hugs Tina x

        Comment by TinaCortina | August 25, 2012

      • Thanks Tina. Added to blogroll, just took a bit to remember how to..lol.
        M.

        Comment by michelledeere140 | August 25, 2012

  13. […] with a good deal of internet reading. One post from Tina struck a cord with me. As I read her post Public or private, I realized I was going through the same thought process and my reasons for wanting to have this […]

    Pingback by Why am I here? « themichelleinme | September 30, 2012 | Reply


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