TinaCortina's Blog

Musings of a Tgirl

Ok so now I am in trouble!

It’s related but is it directly related to the last post?

So far I have only texted my kids.  Apparently the two daughters have not really communicated between themselves.  Of course the elder girl chose not to mention anything 7 years ago but of course has been thrown into it when no 2 daughter revealed that she knew about me.  So anyway, they have not decided when or what they want to talk about to each other to me or whoever, because no 2 daughter has not replied to no 1 daughter’s calls.  My wife is left in the middle…..   and blames me for the fact that they don’t want to talk to each other or to me.  Well to be honest I am not really sure that is an issue.  They will chat to each other when they get the chance and to me when we get around to it.   I only chat by phone once in a while anyway, whereas my wife speaks to them practically every day.

And the other thing.  Apparently I splash really sensitive subjects such as my last blog with a picture of me in short skirts (so this one is rather longer, lol).  Well I don’t quite view it like that.  I have written over 80 blogs on this and the old Yahoo360 platform which thankfully I was able to transfer here.  I have always included a pic, at least one at the top of the post.  Excepting some of my family posts it has always been one of Tina,  and I try to select from most recent rather than old posts.  And of course I select what I consider to be amongst the best.  Often I also post at the same time to my Flickr site.

The other question she raised .  Am I obsessed with numbers (ie views on blog. Flickr site etc) and should I be?  I know that within my work I am practically a statistician, at the very least I work with and have a firm interest in numbers.  So when I say I have had over 115,000 views on Flickr with 108 photos (ie over 1,000 per photo) and just about to break the 10,000 views on WordPress with around 80 blogs since July 09 when I started here, so roughly 100 views a week, culminating in about 250 views yesterday.  Well yes, I do track numbers and care, rather esoterically, I don’t know why, about the absolute numbers and the averages.  In honesty, while I do track the numbers, I care far more about comments, here or on Flickr and those that know me, know I don’t do two-word ‘fantastic pic’ comments or ‘great blog’ comments.  The thing about views, you have absolutely no idea whether they read what you say!!

I was feeling ok about this ‘kids know about me’ thing, but my wife seems intent on trying to make me feel guilty.  The point is I don’t, simply because I refuse to feel guilty about anything that is ‘me being me’.   As I intimated in my last blog, if the kids know, then fine let’s move on.  I’m not just about to dress in front of them, but if they want to talk about it then great.  Otherwise, whats the big issue?  Yes, yes, I understand that my wife gets it more than me, at the very least in the short-term, but eventually the buck has to stop with me.

I am feeling that the kids thus far don’t really want to discuss it in any more detail and so far feel safer chatting to Mum.  I shall have to try to change that over the weekend to ensure that it doesn’t become a bigger problem than it ever was.

Heh, ho.  I’ve included a pic, because I always do.  And if a blog is not for yourself who is it for?

Hugs TinaCortina xx

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January 28, 2011 - Posted by | musings of a tgirl | , , , , , , , , , ,

14 Comments »

  1. I agree with you about the numbers of views. I started my blog on yahoo 36o and then on wordpress for me, kind of a diary online so I didn’t have to worry about someone finding something on my computer. It is cool though to know people are reading my blog. And yes I do find myself looking at the numbers but that has nothing to do with why I blog.
    The fact they know now is a problem as there is nothing you can do about it know and getting upset about it does nothing. All that can be done now is move forward and try to make it work. I am sure your daughters have some questions about it but may take them a while before they feel comfortable asking. The fact your wife knows about this and it is not something you were hiding or doing behind her back I think will help. Give them time and I am sure it will work out.

    Comment by susanmiller64 | January 29, 2011 | Reply

    • Hi Susan, I am hoping you are right. I won’t push them to discuss anything, but one of these days they have more than idle curiousity. I would prefer if they spoke to me rather than a random google.

      Glad to see that I am not the only one who looks at the numbers.

      Hugs Tina x

      Comment by TinaCortina | January 29, 2011 | Reply

  2. Hello dear Tina,

    You’re right when you refuse to feel yourself guilty. Your wife loves you doubtlessly but as most of the GGs she tries to project her own feelings, guilt and fears on you.
    IMHO telling your secret to your daughters and son much earlier would have been the wisest way but this situation is far from hopelessness. You can work it out nice and well together.
    Just be clever, kind and patient; they’re the key.

    Hugs,
    Sophie

    Comment by sophiataylor | January 29, 2011 | Reply

    • Hi Sophie, well maybe, maybe not. And I won’t worry whether we might have told them earlier as we are where we are, but I am hoping it will work itself out with only minor upheaval. Huhs Tina x

      Comment by TinaCortina | January 29, 2011 | Reply

  3. Tina
    I find your undoubted realistic level headedness of both your T side and managing the develoing family situation shines through,
    Hugs Christina

    Comment by Christina Day | January 29, 2011 | Reply

    • Hi Christina, thanks! both for popping by and the comment! Hugs Tina x

      Comment by TinaCortina | January 29, 2011 | Reply

  4. Hi Tina,

    I think you have a most sensible attitude to the situation, and I agree, why should you feel guilty. The fact that the girls have actually known for so long does tend to make one think – ‘So what’s the problem?’ Taking stock and moving on, as you say, seems to be the best approach too.

    I hope A-M comes to terms with the new info, and perhaps she’s disappointed that the girls didn’t approach her earlier – but then, A-M didn’t want to approach them about it either.

    It’s a very delicate situation, deeling with other peoples emotions – and emotions being what they are – they don’t always follow the logical path.

    I so hope it all works out OK for you all. I don’t understand why stats are an issue though – it’s like marmalade and marmite – some people like stuff (so yummy) and some don’t.

    Thinking of you, Anna x

    Comment by Anna Arendt | January 29, 2011 | Reply

    • Thanks Anna, you are so right about the stats issue; either you enjoy looking/ playing with them or not. chalk and cheese an marmalade (well actually I do like cheese and marmalade!!)

      I am not sure that A-M wanted them to speak about it earlier. I think she would have been happier if the conversations had NEVER come up. Oh well can’t be helped now. She will get over it!!

      Hope all is well with you.

      Hugs Tina xx
      ps if the thing below works, it was just an experiment!!

      http://www.flickr.com/slideShow/index.gne?group_id=&user_id=86712422@N00&set_id=72157612676070700&tags=tg,transgender,tgirl,tranny,transvestite,cd,crossdress,crossdressing,crossdresser&favorites=own
      Created with Admarket’s flickrSLiDR.

      Comment by TinaCortina | January 29, 2011 | Reply

      • Hi Tina, your experiment worked. I was fascinated by the range of photos, cos I actually recognised some of the girls – LoL. How do they do that, and where do they pull the pics from ??

        Hugs from Amazed of Ynys Mon – LoL. x

        Comment by Anna Arendt | January 30, 2011

      • Hi Anna
        The pics are actually my collection of favourite pics of other girls, which I am pretty sure you can get to anyway on my flickr site. I was only half impressed though as on my screen at least the pics looked very grainy as if they were just very low resolution. Spoilt them really.
        Hugs Tina x

        Comment by TinaCortina | January 30, 2011

  5. Hi Tina, I am happy to be one of your statistics!LOL. I have to confess to keeping an eye on my stats too. I just find them interesting. Since the inception of my blog just over two years ago I have has a tad over 24,000 visits, 823 posts and a daily average of 31-34 visits. It spikes occasionally but my best day was in January last year at 324 visits. Having said that I don’t get as many comments. Many of my pages and a lot of my older posts are visited frequently. I would like more comments. I can understand why you had so many visits to your Flkr site because your photos (those I’ve seen) are great!
    You are right to hold fast to your right to be you and not to have to make excuses for that. When people make objections they do it selfishly, it is all about how it makes them feel, how it will affect their relationships with their friends, what it will make them look like in the eyes of others. Usually very little consideration is given to those whom have gender issues. That unfortunately is human nature. I feel it might be even more difficult for the cd than it is for the Ts when it comes to family. I think being recognised as fully male or fully female is easier to accept than it is for those who present both ways as they feel inclined. An interesting point revealed that although my ex. didn’t mind me dressing, she didn’t want to see me that way but after my operation (although it took a couple of years)she accepts me totally now. I do hope that in the weeks to come you will find the atmosphere more agreeable at home and that you can all live at peace with one another. It is a matter of give and take and not just take on either side. Love and hugs

    Shirley Anne xxx

    Comment by Shirley Anne | January 29, 2011 | Reply

    • Hi Shirley Anne

      The stat that I find hardest to take in is the 823 posts!! I have 10% of that figure in the 5 years I have been blogging, although only on WordPress about 18mths. Still at least I keep a fairly steady flow of one or two most months. And a high of 324 is pretty good as well. My best at 234 was a few days ago on my last blog, so I guess people have been attracted by the topic of ‘kids finding out’.

      In relation to your other comments, you may be right. The one thing we did agree with my wife many years ago is that I would be one or the other and not an ‘inbetweeny’. So I don’t do androgenous and wouldn’t dress without at least some make-up. Strangely it is the nail varnish that to me completes the transformation and makes me (feel) the most feminine. But I won’t be presenting to Tina to my girls, I can be pretty sure of that!!

      Hugs Tina x

      Comment by TinaCortina | January 30, 2011 | Reply

  6. Dear Tina,
    I’ve been reading your last two posts with a mixture of sorrow and foreboding – sorrow because you’ve been denied the chance to reveal Tina to your children in your own way, and foreboding because it could always happen to me.

    My wife is wonderfully supportive of Angie but also very determined that our children should never find out. The reason is that she fears it would harm the relationship we have with them and their families, and like grannies the world over she is besotted with our grandchildren. Perhaps your wife has similar fears.

    I’m not convinced that discovery would really be so dreadful, but I’m in no hurry to prove it. The signs are there if they wish to read them – the engagement ring, the handbags, the cardigans and coats that button the wrong way.

    And as I type this I sense that you’ve actually gained something – an end to keeping secrets and pretending that you are what you are not, nor ever will be. I sincerely hope that it all works out well in the end.

    Hugs, Angie x

    Comment by Angie Davis | January 31, 2011 | Reply

    • Hi Angie

      Don’t worry about the sorrow. I never wanted to tell them, but I would have preferred they come to me if they had found out. I certainly didn’t want them worrying on their own. I can undertsand your wife/my wife too. Where does it stop? I have no desire to ‘present as female’ to all and sundry so there is really no need for people to know. That is not to say I wouldn’t mind the opportunity to discuss with select friends that I think might understand, but again where do you stop?

      Hugs Tina x

      Comment by TinaCortina | February 1, 2011 | Reply


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