TinaCortina's Blog

Musings of a Tgirl

Sex, Drugs and Rock n roll (only kidding, that’s a pen in my mouth!)

So much going on in my life right now and not much of it to do with being a tgirl; it makes me question why I write a blog and why I write a blog including both aspects of my life.

By contrast I have a friend Penny, that actually writes under her male name and includes bits about her tgirl activities. She has even told her business owners that she has another persona and wants to help the minority groups within her business ~ good for her, but I couldn’t do that.

I don’t apologise for writing on non tranny topics. This is me, it is being written by me for me. If my blogs get read, great. If they get an occasional comment even better. I am me, which includes Tina, but is not exclusively Tina. I like to get positive feedback and yes negative feedback would be better than nothing, but at the end of the day, I write only for myself.

What a day today. So many people to tell about my friend. Questions to answer. A small eulogy to write ~ well I hope thats the right word. I mean that for the 2nd time in a year I have to stand up and say a few words about a friend that has suffered at the hands of ‘whatever, if anything, is up there’. I’m not a religious person, but I really wonder about it. 4 of my best friends ‘ever’, have died early;

Now I don’t have that many, what I would call ‘close’ friends. I need my space, so I don’t ‘court’ friends and I don’t like too much organised. I don’t like repetition. I like variety, I like spontaneity. I find if too much does get organised then there is no room for spontaneity. I like emails, I like blogs. I like meeting up with people one-to-one. I’m less good on groups. I am ready, willing and able to take phone calls all day long (in my business) ~ I hate taking phone calls in the evening. I mentally switch off.

I find it difficult to commit to things in advance unless I know 100% that I am going to do something. This blog is a good example. I started with an idea in mind but already it is something entirely different. I would never, in my mind, have committed to writing a planned blog about a specific topic.

One of my favourite phrases is ‘all around the wrekin’. It’s a mountain in shropshire and locals use it to explain that are taking the long way around saying something. That is me, that is me in my male persona, but that is Tina too. I’m one and the same person. Just a split personality Gemini, one amongst many!!

In general, I don’t like surprises even when they are nice ones. I like things to be fed to me slowly, drip feed. This is partially because I am used to disappointment. In others, in myself. I find many people commit to something and then don’t deliver. I hate that, but as a result, I don’t commit to things unless its a definite, so in doing thatcan miss the boat. I know I should take action to take control but I also know that there are leaders and there are followers and there is a place for everyone.

I therefore devolve power. But I am one of the best at what I do. Also one of the most loyal as a second in command, which in my book means I can be a good friend. I like detail, so someone can suggest that I do something and I do it to the best of my ability. People know that I will turn up. I might do things that others would not as a result but some will respect me for it.

It is unfair for me to say that this is my femme persona but it is true that at times I have thought this. But there are so many strong, powerful females out there, in so many societies they are the head of the household and the stereotypical male as hunter/gatherer/ provider has long gone from our society.

Anyway, enough of my meanderings; I’ve just had a 20 minute phone call from someone that will be at the Thanksgiving service on Thursday. It has to be uplifting. We have to celebrate the life of my dear friend Nick. He was a gentle giant and a gentle man, so well loved and there will be a huge turn-out and a great send off. We will make sure of it. But then his wife and 3 kids have to pick up the pieces and go on living ~ so sad.

So anyway ~ in the midst of all this, I have to try to run a business ~ a small business, if I don’t do anything, nothing gets done.

We also had to travel up to Shropshire this last w/e for a 5oth birthday party ~ and was it one of the best? You bet! It had a theme of Hippy/ flower power as this was the era many of us grew up. Late sixties/early seventies ~ universtity 72-75. Some great music from my favourite bands, Lou Reed, Deep Purple, Led Zep, (some great air guitar opportunities!) and some of the best fancy dress outfits I’ve ever seen. Over 100 there and most, bar the aging relatives and a few odds and sods, 80+ at least, in fantastic colourful fancy dress.

Now this is the first and only time I have ever appeared in front of my friends in a wig. And this is the first and only time, I am going to put up a picture of me without make-up. But thanks to Ozzy Osborne and a cheap ��6.99 wig I was able to hide behind a facade I normally reserve for my tranny tgirl nights.

There were lots of good things about the weekend and lots to celebrate about life in general and life in particular. When something or someone knocks you down, you have to find the strength to get up again and again. Beat that damned bell. Stay positive. Life’s a bugger and then you die, but don’t let it get you down…………

Take care all. If you have been, thanks for reading. It helps just to write it all down……………

Love TinaCortina xx

ps I’m the one on the right!!

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January 14, 2008 - Posted by | musings of a tgirl | , , , , , , , ,

2 Comments »

  1. *hug* I hope you have fun at the party !
    Love lou reed myself too ! As for Zep..well best left unsaid..think they a weeny bit too pompous ! 😉
    I have to thank you for this blog, such an insight into who you are, I can see we share a lot in common too 🙂 I hope you are doing ok and we get to chat again soon ! *hug* We loves ya and thank you for your blogs they are always a great read …p.s….where’s the picture ?

    Comment by Anonymous | January 14, 2008 | Reply

  2. lol..ohhh theres the picture…see too eager to read yer blog there !! lol got there before you put up the picture !!hehe ! fabulous piccie

    Comment by Anonymous | January 14, 2008 | Reply


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