TinaCortina's Blog

Musings of a Tgirl

Musings of a tgirl

I sometimes wonder about who we are, what we are and why we do it.

I love dressing as a woman; it’s cool, I like the clothes, the touch and the fashion, the feeling of constriction that you get in many women’s clothes; the ability to shed your skin and re-invent yourself as someone else;

I liken it to joining the local Amateur Dramatical Society, not that I’ve ever done and acting, but I guess it allows you that same capacity to be someone else for a while. If you actually do go out dressed then the adrenaline rush must be similar to that which you might get from acting in a play. On the other hand the applause as a tranny has to be silent for the most part , as if you go out into that big wide world, you actually want to disappear, you want not to be noticed, you want to blend in and be like others.

Not that easy when you are 6 foot in stockinged feet ~ and enjoy heels.

Yet, for all those ‘girls’ out there that have yet to venture out, it is not that difficult. If you try hard to ‘look natural’, wear clothes and make-up that are appropriate to where you are, then no-one worries, no-one bothers.

Last night I had the chance to go out. I didn’t want to go far; I didn’t want to stay out late, but I had the chance. It’s strange but if you don’t take those chances when they present themselves you do lose confidence and its so much harder the next time!

But last night I went into Guildford; parked in North Street. Wandered up and down……inspected a lot of menus…….found a nice pub, had a glass of wine, stood at the bar……….found a seat when it became vacant……did some people watching…. read a copy of Marie Claire that I’d taken with me. Haha, it was a Christmas issue…but it was last Christmas! Lol, I’d kept it in my bedside table all that time for just such an occasion.

Hot tip…..always go into a pub with a magazine. Even better, carry it in a plastic bag with some local big shops logo, even better if you have actually just been shopping in those same shops and have them obviously full with goodies…….

Nobody then notices you. Ok my voice was rather gruff as I asked for a dry white wine and it took me two chances to understand the bar chappie was saying ‘pinot grigio’ but heh no problem. No-one looked twice, well not as I could see and we trannies do look! To be honest I spent an hour in there. I kept myself to myself then went off again in search of food.

It was only a minor venture and I hadn’t felt like spending a fortune to eat by myself. Besides I was happy to get back early. So anyway I looked at more menus and eyed up the places as to whether they would be happy not for a tranny to enter their restaurant but as to whether they would be happy for a single person to enter their restaurant……….Saturday night, big parties, very few tables even for two …….so OK what did I do in the end?……..I went to a KFC, ordered a Variety meal and ate most of the chicken and left the chips. Not ideal diet, granted, but for those that know KFC in the States, well it’s much better over here, at least where they do a lot of trade.

Well I ate in then walked back to the car. Wandered home for about 10pm. And then half an hour later despite having ‘the whole night to myself’ morphed myself back into male mode so I could get up early next morning.

I enjoy going out alone; I don’t feel it is any big deal any longer. I feel at ease with myself and my surroundings. Dress sensibly and no-one bothers you………and yet why is a 50 year old woman (Ok tranny) going out on such an evening.

If anything I stood out more last night, not because I was a tranny, but

a) I was alone when apart from a few males everyone else was in couples or in groups

b) I was almost universally older than everyone else ~ kids were out in force, especially in KFC!

If people were looking at me, were they wondering whether I didn’t have a home (old people’s??) to go to? Harsh maybe, but except in theatre areas, or near the more expensive restaurants, you just don’t see 50 year olds out there, and certainly not single females.

It does make me think why do I do it? I mean once you’ve proved that you can go out alone and survive to tell the tale, why do it over and over? There must be something special about it or I wouldn’t do it.

Would I go to such places on my own as a bloke? Definitely not. I mean some of the places I’ve been to as a trannie I wouldn’t have gone to in a million years as Peter. I suppose Irarely go out on my own, just occasionally visiting pubs on the way home from work or when out on business.

As a tgirl (I lke that term best I think), I rarely go out with friends other than in London, partly because, two trannies out together do get noticed, whereas I’ve never found a problem as one. It’s not that I mind being noticed, but I’ve rarely had the chance to go out with others which is a shame. As well as running the risk of the odd comment, I think friendly people out there are much more likely to say hi, if you yourself are in a group.

I’m not interested in men, so could not meet one for such a venture. It would be nice to go with your wife, not anywhere local, but she won’t travel with Tina so that is a nono. For the most part, my wife likes to keep accompanying Tina to when in groups, or to in hotels or restuarants again preferably in London, occasionally Pink Punters in Milton Keynes. <<< hot press, she has asked me if I’d like to go to PP on Sat 8 Dec, so that could be our next venture together. So no complaints there.

I hope to get a few chances between now an Xmas to venture out for the day. I need to do some shopping as Tina. Swopping Xmas presents to and from Tina is a highlight, so I shall have to buy on the net or get out there and do it.

By the way, I did get out recently for a lovely Saturday in London with friends. I may write that up another time. In the meantime, I don’t have a photo of last night, but it was one of my favourite skirt and top combinations so I have posted an earlier photo in the same outfit.

If you have read this far, thank you. Comments on the blog always most welcome.

Love TinaCortina xx

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November 18, 2007 - Posted by | musings of a tgirl | , , , , , , , ,

5 Comments »

  1. Dear Tina
    That’s a lovely blog entry and one that could only have been written by a genuine t-girl. It’s useless trying to analyse ourselves, isn’t it? We don’t know why we do what we do, but the urge to dress in fem clothes and look as convincing as we can is often overwhelming. I was only saying to a friend yesterday that this isn’t a game – it’s more serious than that, and the thrill of being accepted as a woman in indescribable.

    You’re right that two trannies together are much more noticeable. Like you, my wife’s non too keen to accompany me, but unlike you I’ve never been out alone to pubs and shops. Maybe the time has come to give it a try.

    Hugs,
    Angie

    Comment by Angie | November 18, 2007 | Reply

  2. i agree 100 % whith what you have said.
    i often feel like i know what an actor feels like.
    and i must say since i have preformed as a solo musician on stage by my self with an accompianst…. it never gets any easier but… at least you know what to expect(the butterflys in the stomach before going on stage) “and this makes all the differance”, as the poem by robert frost says about taking the road less traveled.
    you are right about the adreniline rush this is how i feel after a music preformance one is on a 2 hour high (with no drugs to cause it) šŸ™‚ and most musicians i have spoke with feel this way.
    i’ve given up trying to analize or stop dressing since it’s not illegle and it doesn’t harm oneyone otherwise it just wells up in me until i am forced to comply.
    i like to think that is the artist in me as this is what happens with composers and artests that try to give up their art craft. it just wells up till they are compelled to continue.
    so you see it becomes healther to “go with the flo” than to fight it.

    Comment by Anonymous | November 19, 2007 | Reply

  3. Hi tina, glad to see your getting some you time atlast x its strange howwe can sum up the courage to do almost anything if we really want to im going fulltime in afew weeks and although i am aprehensive i am also really looking forward to it! and taking your tips and lead ill hopefully have many pleasent outings ahead of me.

    Hugs Steph xxx

    Comment by Anonymous | November 19, 2007 | Reply

  4. Thank you Tina for a wonderful insight šŸ™‚
    What a fabulous blog ! Mind you I always love reading your blogs.. :)Its always nice to hear when fellow humans have behaved in a manner fitting the name and not bothered you or anyone else who ” doesn’t fit ” the mould ! šŸ™‚ Thank you for this blog..it was a great read and most insightful šŸ™‚
    That’s great that you got out on your own, we will have to meet up some time

    Comment by Anonymous | November 22, 2007 | Reply

  5. Hi Tina…what an interesting blog. Thanks for sharing..you are an inspiration to a lot of girls with writings & reports such as these.! Hugs~ Jen šŸ˜‰

    Comment by Anonymous | December 2, 2007 | Reply


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