Bombshell? My girls know about me!

Well Facebook friends may have heard already, but this week’s big news……wait for it………………………………………….

At least two of my 3 grown-up children (my 2 daughters aged 26 and 21 for definite, a son age 28 not sure) know about me, know about my dressing, know my name, and have known for between 6-8 years, which is pretty well most of the time Tina has existed as an ‘iperson’  ~ Tina Cortina born 2002!

It’s not a total surprise to me, but something of a bombshell for my wife.  In the course of the last 8 or 9 years, my wife has been supportive on the basis that the kids don’t find out.  She has told only one other friend (Cathy who was fine about it) but we took the decision not to tell the kids, and more specifically not to take any unnecessary risks.  Well we did try, but clearly it was unsuccessful.

I’s a great shame because in other circumstances, I would be writing a blog about my youngest, who recently qualified as a Nurse (see Hats Off post).  After qualifying  last year, she got her first job at a hospital about 70 miles away, but had decided during her studies that she preferred Community Nursing to Hospitals. So even since starting this new post just a few months ago, she has always kept an eye open for other opportunities.  On Monday, she interviewed for a job that she really wanted about 12 miles from our home and within an hour of interview heard she had got it.  It may take a while, and her intention would be to get a flat-share with a friend locally, but the likelihood is that she will be coming back for a few months at least.  Monday night celebrating, wahay, big time!!  Being dutiful Dad, I drove her to the pub and picked her up with a friend; she was somewhat pie-eyed.

When we got home, I went up to bed.  My wife stayed up and at some point established that daughter had a problem, which under pressure, she eventually revealed.  The problem being that ‘she was concerned that she was returning to a house where her father was a tranny’.  I think the point had been re-inforced earlier that night when she went into the home pc, and apparently my account was open and she saw a Messenger window featuring Tina.

A long night ensued.  My wife spoke to her for an hour or so.  I got up to find the two of them upset.  I did get to speak to my daughter alone, but it was difficult (as she was very pie-eyed, lol).  Over several hours I didn’t get much more than ‘she wasn’t stupid’, ‘she had seen something on the computer (funny photos) in the past’ and the messenger screen that night, and that she’d discussed it with her sister.  I stayed up till 3, she seemed Ok and subsequently we have swopped texts, ‘don’t worry, everything Ok, it was just such a shock to be talking about it’.

I do come at it from a different angle than my wife.  My main concern would be that she might be considering a flat-share with another person rather than come home for a longer period.  Any of my kids would be most welcome to stay at our house for as long as they liked;  I would temper that to ‘within reason’ only because I would like to encourage them to make good on their own.  If she comes home, then of course I would not in any way want her to feel uncomfortable.

A second point is that when at home she had heard arguments between my wife and I (we have a fractious relationship but for the most part thrive on it), and that she had assumed that it was about my dressing.  Which for the most part is just not true.  I’m not saying we have never argued about the boundaries, but I would not be doing what I do now without the tacit agreement of my wife.

So anyway, that daughter has since gone back to Bournemouth.  The 2 daughters have been on the phone to each other and both have since spoken with A-M my wife ~ I have so far only swopped texts.  It seems my eldest daughter saw some photos in a bedside drawer, maybe 7 or 8 years ago  – they were probably my first make-over photos from 2002.  At the time she would have been at University.  Apparently she felt bad for several months but shared the confidence with her boyfriend (who she subsequently married) but has since (apart from discussing with younger daughter) kept quiet about it ~ so far as I can gather.

No-one knows if my son knows (he’s 28);  and eldest daughter has advised about telling him.  I won’t say anything to him because my wife would not like it, but heh, I think he is the most like me, so would hear it, take it on-board and move on. That’s life.

So there we are.  My wife upset ~ I can understand that she never wanted to discuss these topics with her kids.  Even more so, she would be worried about others finding out (but then if the 2 daughters have kept it private this long, it is unlikely to spread through them).

How do I feel?  Well, I’m concerned that my wife gets through this, but she is a strong person and I am sure that she will.  She took the decision a long time ago to encourage but control it.  But that has included lots of Christmas and Birthdays and times in between for receiving clothes from her.  Lot’s of shared good times when we have been out and about and a week and a bit from now on Saturday we are out, the two of us + another good friend Penny Rusham, to the theatre in London ‘Priscilla of the Desert; Two weeks after that there is a possibility of me going to Brighton and she hasn’t vetoed that so far;  in fact we have discussed it since, so I am optimistic that I might be going.

I look forward to talking to my girls, without embarrassment. I won’t force the subject on them even now, but I will make it plain that I am happy and open to discussing any aspect; that I did not hide it from them for any bad reason;  that I am the same person they have always known and loved and I love them too.  Hopefully that will be enough.

The picture above.  Well I think my wife bought me most of what I am wearing, except perhaps the shoes ~ she does care about me.

Should I worry that they might be reading this?  Well no.  I have always been well aware that a google search would reveal this blog.  I have written over 80 blogs all published here since starting on Yahoo360.  Would I re-write anything if I knew people I knew were reading?  Not a bit of it.

Finally, if you are within a vaguely similar position.  If you have computer savvy kids, the chances are that they know.

Hugs & take the best of care everyone

TinaCortina xx